No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
