have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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