Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
