She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
