Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robitsâ€
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
