My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
