dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
