we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
