those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
