I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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