Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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