One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
