it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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