I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
