Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
