I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
