you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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