I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
