I accidentally burped into my bong.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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