Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
