I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i think i just lost a toe
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
