I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
