He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
