Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
