dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
