ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
