I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
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