Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
