I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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