I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
