if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
ttyl tear gas
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
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She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We're not piercing ourselves today.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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