clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
