I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
