this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
