Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
