Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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