How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
