I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
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I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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