And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
