The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
