I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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