dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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