I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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