he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
