Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
