So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
