it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
