if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
