Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"