she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only