Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  So drunk its hurt

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  (810): So drunk its hurt http://tfl.nu/8w92
  Replies (3) Good night (1187) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.

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  (517): I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans. http://tfl.nu/ad7f
  Replies (8) Good night (932) Bad night (3480)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.

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  (949): It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time. http://tfl.nu/w76y
  Replies (51) Good night (1671) Bad night (4978)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  how many servings is brandon's dick?

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  (203): nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body (508): how many servings is brandon's dick? http://tfl.nu/n1yr
  Replies (57) Good night (5286) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight

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  (612): Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight http://tfl.nu/a290
  Replies (69) Good night (1353) Bad night (9067)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...

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  (408): I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal... http://tfl.nu/6umq
  Replies (4) Good night (910) Bad night (3089)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".

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  (408): just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right". http://tfl.nu/kg1e
  Replies (8) Good night (1796) Bad night (4457)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.

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  (803): She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD. http://tfl.nu/b7tw
  Replies (13) Good night (1387) Bad night (3058)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.

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  (719): I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/q96h
  Replies (4) Good night (1098) Bad night (706)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.

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  (313): They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks. http://tfl.nu/knfo
  Replies (4) Good night (2422) Bad night (967)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...

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  (303): accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones... http://tfl.nu/822e
  Replies (4) Good night (2501) Bad night (579)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.

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  (580): It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck. http://tfl.nu/h6bo
  Replies (6) Good night (694) Bad night (1226)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.

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  (570): Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me. http://tfl.nu/6mb8
  Replies (8) Good night (786) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.

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  (709): He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes. http://tfl.nu/6yst
  Replies (6) Good night (677) Bad night (835)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.

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  (415): Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring. http://tfl.nu/atx5
  Replies (1) Good night (510) Bad night (416)

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