I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits