Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses

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  (514): She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses http://tfl.nu/tn5z
  Replies (46) Good night (5969) Bad night (1606)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.

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  (303): I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet. http://tfl.nu/l0f7
  Replies (14) Good night (992) Bad night (3826)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat

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  (402): I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat http://tfl.nu/ufc8
  Replies (24) Good night (2506) Bad night (3486)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.

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  (443): We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status. http://tfl.nu/kzoi
  Replies (43) Good night (15460) Bad night (1558)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?

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  (913): high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life? http://tfl.nu/lv3r
  Replies (10) Good night (3786) Bad night (1072)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice

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  (608): im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice http://tfl.nu/dly6
  Replies (15) Good night (3221) Bad night (1449)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business

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  (252): My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business http://tfl.nu/rc0p
  Replies (5) Good night (2725) Bad night (1042)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.

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  (+44): She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me. http://tfl.nu/nryr
  Replies (6) Good night (2147) Bad night (1104)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!

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  (228): Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?! http://tfl.nu/8no9
  Replies (6) Good night (1559) Bad night (878)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen

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  (502): You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen http://tfl.nu/i11i
  Replies (13) Good night (1472) Bad night (540)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens

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  (505): on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens http://tfl.nu/9djh
  Replies (1) Good night (1599) Bad night (535)
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  (510): View more from California

  He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.

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  (510): He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public. http://tfl.nu/l5dt
  Replies (9) Good night (496) Bad night (1233)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?

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  (214): Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend? http://tfl.nu/qooe
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (378)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.

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  (503): He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume. http://tfl.nu/sl1w
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (422)
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  (518): View more from New York

  currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"

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  (518): currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride" http://tfl.nu/puls
  Replies (1) Good night (400) Bad night (157)

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