My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
MIDGETS
????
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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