YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.