Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed