hotel room ftw
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.