grinding to god bless the USA? really?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?