that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was