he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.