Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
