I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
