ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
