and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
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