To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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