He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
