The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
