Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
