I'm really into asian looking animals
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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